It's getting late. It's 12:28 in the morning to be exact. I just found out about half an hour ago that our appointment is in fact at 8:30, not at 9:30 like I've been thinking all along. That was a little sad because that means I can't be lazy in the morning, but at least we will be done sooner! And somehow, as I know I should go to bed, I just can't sleep. I have too much going on in my head! I feel a little like it's Christmas because no one can ever fall asleep when they are waiting for Christmas! Too bad that instead of waking up to a decorated home with presents galore, we will be stuck in the "dungeon" (aka the basement for chemo treatment) all day! But, I never thought this day would come. I can finally say that TODAY we will be done with the chemo treatments!!!! I'm slightly in denial about it. It's just been our routine for the last six months, and I can't believe what seemed like an eternity is finally coming to an end! What a whirlwind these last seven months have been. It's amazing how many different emotions and ups and downs we have faced, and now as I look back, I can truly see how blessed we were along the way. Funny how that works, isn't it? I mean, I could see the blessings along the way, but now it is so clear as I can look at the bigger picture of it all. Do I understand the complete purpose of everything we have gone through? No! Have I handled the last seven months perfectly? Absolutely not! Do I still make mistakes every day? Yes-sir-ee! But, I'm continuing to learn and grow. Am I more like my Savior having gone through this experience? I would like to believe yes. Am I completely happy with the wife, mother, friend, and woman that I am? Nope, I've got lots of work to do! But, one thing I have learned and hope I have exemplified through this hardship, is that we can find joy in our journey. Sometimes our joy was laughing with other patients about how many times the nurses had to stick them because we all know that veins hide in the chemo clinic! Sometimes our joy was laughing at how we buzzed Kyle's hair only to find out he wasn't really lose it! Other times our joy was pretending we were on a romantic getaway for 3 days while Kyle was in the hospital! We got a kick out of how Kyle's coworkers couldnt believe the cancer patient still creamed them all in their daily ping pong matches! We found joy in our beautiful girls who can truly be delightful when they want to be! We had joy from so many friends, family and loved ones rooting us on and showing us support in so many ways! I think most of all, we felt joy that we never once doubted that we have a wonderful Heavenly Father who loves us and is our #1 support. There were times I just wanted to be angry with our situation, but I just couldn't because I knew Heavenly Father was watching out for us.
So, remember the scaredy-cat Kyle who couldn't stand to even think about needles or else he might pass out???
Well, I guess some things never change! :) jk, Kyle has been brave and strong through this journey. He still doesn't feel completely comfortable with needles, but he has come a long way! He definitely deserves the most improved award from the chemo clinic as far as that goes!
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